For some reason, and since I moved to this boring boring city a couple of years ago, I have a constant feeling of waiting for something to happen. I am not sure what it is though, and so I am scared that 'it' may actually happen and that I wouldn't recognize it..
I am complex, I know that..
I am very social by nature, and having no friends here has been a struggle. I do have the occasional cup of coffee or a dinner with colleagues every once in a while. But what I truly miss are my friends with whom I can be completely myself, and enjoy a relaxed laid back conversation with. And maybe that is what I am waiting for. Friends who will urge me to leave my bed and laptop, and move my car across town WILLINGLY, to actually meet them. And be happy about it!
The worst comment someone can make though is: But you don't go out, how will you meet people and make friends, then?
To me, that is just plain stupid. Because let's imagine it: I go out to a nice decent coffee shop, on my own. And I see at the next table a nice crowd of people whom I can tell, even from a distance, that we will be BFFs. What's the next step, in this very realistic scenario? I mean honestly, should I walk up to their table, introduce myself, and ask to be friends with?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
So I live for my weekends, when I get the chance to go 'home' and meet my family and my real friends.. But I get so bored during the week. And I despise the weekends that I have to work, because I have no plans after hours.
Last year, I tried knitting. I'm serious.
I read a lot, and I watch series, and I have been using my treadmill at long last. But aren't we social creatures?
What am I waiting for.. Aside from friends?
I think I am going to read "The Passion Test", again and again and again. I love this book, and I for sure know it works, because amazing things have happened to me to prove it.. I need a refreshment dose.
I get off my medication, and hopefully my blues, next week! I literally can't wait! I may have destroyed a few things along the way though..
But I am not smoking anymore, and so it is definitely worth it.
I don't want to talk about the Italian today. I don't want to think about him today, either.
But I am thinking about him, right?
Ughhhh, who am I kidding...
Well, he's still busy, and I am applying the I-can-be-busy too technique, and not enjoying the process at all.
I met a great woman last night, with whom I think I can easily become friends with by the way.. And she was telling me about a friend of hers, who is having problems with her boyfriend because she's always busy and isn't the type of person who can make plans, while her boyfriend is the exact opposite.
I almost suggested switching boyfriends.. But hey, I didn't!
I love me. This is who I am. And if gritting my teeth (that he can't see considering he's thousands of miles away) and pretending to be busy and not thinking about him (while secretly boiling on the inside) is what makes me happy, then I am doing that. And I won't judge me. It's ok.. We all have our weirdo sides, I suppose.
This is getting too crazy :)
Enjoy your weekend everyone!