In this time and age, how do we single arab women in our thirties feel? How do we think those around us feel? What experiences do we go through, and how do these experiences affect our singlehood? Inspired from personal experience and of those of all the beautifully fabulous Arab Single Ladies out there, I hope this blog reminds us all just how amazing it is to be single! Or is it....?

Thursday, October 30, 2014

How much do looks matter?

So, a friend came over to visit last night.

My friend is a civil engineer, and she is a very pretty girl. She is smart, and funny, albeit a bit traditional when it comes to certain schools of thought. I generally enjoy spending time with her, and find that we can mostly get a serious and an interesting conversation going. Anyway, she came over last night, and as we sat on the balcony enjoying an argileh, she told me that someone had just introduced her to a guy who is looking for a wife. A traditional way of proposing, which she is ok with, in general.

So as we sat there discussing the details, she told me that she had agreed to get introduced to the guy. They started by exchanging phone numbers, and texting each other, and a couple of phone calls. The guy finally asked her out for dinner. She said he was such a gentleman, had brought her chocolates, was very considerate and polite. The surprise, or rather the shock, though, was that when they met, she realized that he had had some kind of skin disease, (of which he told her he was fully recovered, now), that had caused ALL his hair to fall off, and it will never grow back.

All his hair meant the hair on his head, any hair on his body, and most importantly, no eyebrows.

Now, my friend was polite enough to go through the dinner with him, and she actually said that once you get over the initial shock of his looks, he really is a nice guy. She went home, though, and decided that she cannot go through with this, as his looks were just too difficult to bear. Her mother, though, gave her the advice to give herself some time, go out a couple of more times with him, and see if she still feels the same way about him. She decided to take her mother’s advice, and so, last night, she told me that they have gone out three times so far, as well as exchanging phone calls and messages.

She then mentioned that the more she spends time with him, the more she realizes that he is actually a decent guy, a gentleman, and that she feels comfortable around him.  Now, she asked me what I thought, and whether or not I believed she should give him a chance. She also showed me a photo, and yes, the eyebrows were a little bit too much.

I didn’t give her an answer, because there never is a correct answer if a friend asks you what you think of a suitor, and because that is a decision she needs to take on her own. But, it got me thinking: would I be willing to spend the rest of my life with a hairless eyebrow-less man?

In my opinion, it is one thing to fall in love with someone who has a medical condition, or who goes through one while you are together. But it is entirely different to decide to accept a traditional marriage proposal with someone as such. Or am I wrong? I mean, would a man accept marrying a woman, through a traditional proposal, if she had no eyebrows? I really really doubt it, and why should a woman accept one, then?

Also, if she got over his looks, would she be able to get over the looks of other people as they walk down the street?

I know I sound very very shallow, but it really got me thinking about what point does the compromise end? Are looks important? Are they more important for women than to men ? And when does a girl decide that it is too much to overlook?

I would love to hear your opinions on this, men and women. I would love to see if you agree to my point of view, or if there are other opinions out there, keeping in mind that it is a traditional marriage proposal, with no love story behind.

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